11:11

Annoyed! So annoyed by so many things right now. Tonight is going to be one of those nights where I'm tired, I wanna sleep, but my mind won't stop racing long enough for the rest of me to relax. My anxiety has been super bad lately. I have a lot to consider, but at the end of the day the final say isn't really up to me. I don't like not knowing where I will be or what I will be doing. It keeps me on guard 24/7 and makes me restless. It's like if I get up and ponder the floor things will happen faster. It's almost March and I'm starting to get antsy.

I like this, I like that, I like you, I don't like you, I don't get it, I shouldn't be concerned, Why am I worrying, What if it doesn't work out, How long is this going to take, Should I be concerned with this, What about him, What about her, What time is it, What day is it, What month am I in, How long til graduation, Do I really have to do this, Can it wait til tomorrow, What if I have to do something else tomorrow, What am I doing next week, When is spring break, How much is it, What do I owe you, Did I forget to call, I haven't heard from you, I don't know what's going on, I wish I didn't have to go, I want to go.

How ya like them apples. A penny for my thoughts? I'd be a millionaire.

Goodnight world.

♥ ♥ ♥

I miss the days when I loved design. I remember watching Fashion Week on Style Network and I would hide out in my room for hours sketching what my mind envisioned the models wearing as they walked the runway. Since I was 13 I dreamed of having my own runway show. My own collection with my ideas. As many of you know I've chosen not to show at our annual student fashion show this year. It was a hard decision to make because that is why I chose to attend O'More. Presenting my collection in the fashion show during my Senior year was always something I couldn't wait to do. As sad as it is to admit, O'More has ruined my love for fashion design. I don't regret coming to O'More because I've met so many amazing people and I've learned so much about myself.... but I do regret the decision to major in fashion design. I can't begin to go in to all of the reasons why- if we're good friends you know why and I'm sure we've had numerous conversations about it.

I almost feel as if I've lost a piece of my heart over the past 4 years. I don't feel like my creativity has been boosted or encouraged.. I feel like it's been deflated and rundown by unchallenging teachers and unmotivated peers. Beyond that, I still have to complete the collection and I am struggling so badly to do so. I'm so uninspired and I feel like design has defeated me. I'm sure your thinking why am I posting this. I need inspiration and advice from any and everyone. I am a person that works best when presented with a challenge; I am a problem solver. If anyone has any ideas at all to challenge me with ideas or concepts, by ALL means throw them out there. Twitter, Facebook, comment on this post, text, email, blackberry messenger, Skype (lalovex3), call, anyything... I would really appreciate it.

As a designer I feel like everyone encounters this at some point, and from my experience the only way to bridge the gap between success and failure is from the help of friends.

I haven't seen the sunshine in WEEKS!!! I am so beyond happy right now. Aside from that, sorry about my belated blogging. Massive art history test = Friday, me= studying my heart out. Plus we got more snow... which usually results in an overdosage of movie watching and cooking/baking unhealthy things. It's not good on so many levels. I am hoping so so badly that we don't get any more winter weather! I need the sun for my health and well-being. Not to mention, I'm twice as productive. Unfortunately the next 2 days will be spent cramming for the test... this weekend will be spent working on cash flow and attempting to work on my collection.. and perhaps a cocktail at some point. I have a feeling I'm going to need it.


♥ ♥ ♥

Tuesday Obsessions

Well hello, Tuesday! As many of you know I am not a fan of snow and ice. Call me crazy, but the idea of white, slippery, frozen ice particles covering the pavement hardly fills my heart with joy. However, I am a person that likes to think positively, so rather than continue with my negative saga, I'm going to share things that I am currently (or long time) obsessed with.

1. Body Butter. Obsessed is an understatement. I absolutely love The Body Shop's body butters.. or any of their products in general. They come in an array of different scents. I am partial to Satsuma, but strawberry is my second favorite.


2. Red Lipstick. A few weeks ago a few of my friends and I decided that in honor of Valentines day we were going to purchase new lipstick. Where did we go first? Sephora, naturally. After about an hour of all 3 of us trying on different shades,Caitlin chose a GORGEOUS baby pink shade (hate her... she has perfect long, wavy, blonde hair, blue eyed, and pulls off baby pink perfectly) and Megan (Zooey Deschanel's twin... hate her too :)) chose a very subtle pink/red shade... I finally found a gorgeous true red Tarte lip stain... UNTIL...I found out the shade I wanted was sold out. Story of my life. A few days later I ventured to Mac.. (lifelong brand loyalty.. this proves I should have gone there first). I originally went in to purchase a blush ONLY... buuuut while I was there I thought what the heck and told the artist I was attempting to try red lipstick for the first time and ask if she had any suggestions. People have often told me I have the ideal features to pull off red lipstick, but I'm not going to lie.. I'm not a person that likes to try to pull off hard-to-wear products. She pulled 2 different shades, the first I was partial to because it was lighter, the 2nd was extremely bold... it had a plum base and I am not a huge fan of purple... I don't wear it well. But when she put the 2nd shade on I seriously couldn't believe it actually looked okay. I ended up breaking my cardinal rule and went with the 2nd because everyone there told me it looked better than the first. It is extremely bold but I'm getting used to it. I never realized how many women don't think they can wear red lipstick. I was stopped 2 times in the mall yesterday by ladies saying "I wish I could wear that color, it looks so nice." I say this not to brag, but to encourage everyone to TRY IT! I NEVER thought I could pull it off, but now that I tried it I'm becoming a lover of red. I recommend Mac cosmetics of course... not only because it's a good product, but also because a number of their RED lipsticks aid their sponsorship of JOIN RED for AIDS. Look good and help a cause, it's a win/win situation.


3. New York City. This is a no-brainer... New York is always on my mind. I love this because it's an art form. NYC + Art= LOVE. "These streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York.."


4. Crystal Light: Strawberry Kiwi. 3 words. OH.MY.WORD! I am completely obsessed with CL... It's SO good, not to mention it's like drinking plain water, only with a kick. Plus, no calories. Yes, pleassssse. Strawberry Kiwi is my newly discovered favorite, but they have tons of other flavors.. pink lemonade, green tea, fruit punch, white grape.. etc.


5. Battle Studies. Caitlin and I are venturing to downtown Nashville tomorrow night to see JOHN MAYER in concert at the Sommet Center! This isn't the only reason I love Battle Studies though. Many people would argue that Continuum was his best record, but I beg to differ. I don't know what it is about Battle Studies, but it touches a place in my heart that no other album has ever hit. On an industry level, I can agree that this probably isn't his strongest record, but on a personal level, it's stolen my heart. John Mayer has always been the singer/song writer that cures my bad days, brightens the gloomy ones, and owns the beautiful ones. His lyrics are captivating and it's almost like he takes your mind to a peaceful, surreal world that everyone secretly wishes really existed. So he's a little awkward and has his flaws, we all do, at least he's upfront about them.


Well that's all I've got for today. I'm sure I'll have a very detailed blog containing every momentary second of the John Mayer concert later this week. Until then, I've got a collection to work on and an Art History test to cram for.

As Always
♥ ♥ ♥

Inspire.me.

Congratulations to my amazingly talented friend Katie Markus for a very successful week at ASR in San Diego. I'm blessed to be surrounded by so many passionate and positive friends.

It's February 5... in 3 days I will have precisely 3 months until graduation. The countdown is on! I know I'm wishing my life away and I'm sure one day I'll regret it, but for now I look forward to casting my wish at 11:11 every night.

His plan is always better than my own. Inspire.Me.So.







♥ ♥ ♥

When life hands you lemons, slice them and toss them in your tea ♥ ♥ ♥

Welp. Today hasn't been my favorite day of 2010, that's for sure. Then again, it hasn't been the worst day either. As if Seniorites wasn't harsh enough, I didn't think it could get much worse. Alas, I was wrong. I am fed up with my life at this point. And by that I don't mean everyone should be watching for a suicide letter, lol. I'm so ready for something new. I'm so close and I see the light at the end of the tunnel.... a very long tunnel that resembles that of a sewing machine... It's like a maze.. you have to make it under the needle before it crushes you, and if you make it, you win and you get to graduate college. Let's all hope, for everyone's sake, that I make it.

There's word on the street of another snow storm brewing for this weekend. All I have to say about that is "PLEASE GOD, NO!" If I have to be snowed in for another long weekend I might actually die. Exaggeration? Oh, alright. UPDATE: my mom just informed me in the middle of my freakout that it's only "snow showers" on Saturday. That I can handle. Now that, that is cleared up, I'm excited for the weekend. My sister is coming in to town...(to drag me to another bridal fair...) and we're finally celebrating my mom's birthday. Dear John and The Cheesecake Factory. YES PLEASE! Then Sunday will be a bummer filled with studying, studio, studying and more studio. Oh well, 3 more months. I can make it.

Posting a little inspiration for the road. ♥ ♥ ♥