I didn't know it at 15, and I still don't know it at 22

I love unexpected surprises. Today I stumbled upon 2. 2 people, specifically 2 men, I have never laid eyes on. I don't know how the conversation got started, but by the end I knew for sure it was meant to happen.

Over the past few weeks I have been in a crazy, undefined rut of life. I am a planner... an organized, over analytical, down-to-the-last-detail, PLANNER. Lately, I have been getting a HUGE dose of reality in realizing that there are VERY few things I have control over. It's taken me this entire summer to see that everything I've been able to control in the past wasn't that big of a deal. Honestly, I didn't even stumble upon this until today. This is how the story goes.

For all intents and purposes, I will refer to them as Jack and Joe. Jack was an older man, 60-70.. retired film producer... Joe early 40's, song writer with a daughter that just graduated HS. I can't even begin to explain the ironic similarities between the 3 of us. Joe's daughter is very interested in the areas of which I am studying, and she has the same goals and ambitions I had when I was 18. Jack shot his first film at my first college. Our conversation went down many paths, but primarily focused on present/future plans. I have really been struggling with my plans lately. I've come to find over the past year that what I thought I wanted, isn't what I really want at all. It's really hard to comprehend the idea that I loved something so much, and I was so passionate about it, and in the end it wasn't what I had expected at all. I'm not disappointed, just unsure of where to go from here. Both of these people helped me realize through their stories and experiences, that it's okay not to know what you want. I'm only 22, and things have a way of working themselves out. My roommate Nicole also had some great input. She loves not knowing where she's going to be. She knows God will handle it, and in the end everything will be fine. I know that, I do, but there's still something in me that feels like it needs answers asap. I think this is just another life lesson. I think I need to step back, take a deep breath, and let go. I need to let go and be 22. I need to enjoy my life right now, not worry about things or people I can't change. Thats my goal for this week, to stop taking things so seriously and just go with the flow. Can I handle it? I hope so.

lovelovelove. until next time.

La

New Blog!

Lets see how well I can keep up with this, shall we?! I've never been very good at keeping up with blogging on a daily basis, but I'll give it another shot.

I'm sure everyone who's reading this knows me some way or another... but if not I'll give you a brief summary. I'm Lauren. I'm 22 (geez I hate to admit that). I'm a SENIOR at O'More College majoring in fashion design. I'm not in to design as much as I was when I started the program, I've found myself to be more into the marketing/business side of the industry. I have also come to find that I have a great interest in the entertainment industry. I currently work for a wardrobe stylist and it's definitely a God-given position. I'm a different shade of grey everyday. I say that because there are so many tones to my personality. I'm highly organized, I love to work, and sometimes I feel like I'm 40 because I go to bed at 11pm... but I'm also 22.. I love to have fun and be goofy with my friends.

I decided to start blogging again because there is SO much going on in my life right now. Sometimes I can feel the days slipping away, and I look back and think "wow what DID i do that day!?" Yet, I am learning so much, and at the end of each day I feel very accomplished. So, this blog is to help me document the events that occur during "the prime of my life." (I'm still not convinced I'm at my "prime," but I guess we'll see.)

August 10, 2009. First off, today was HOT. Literally. But I doubt anyone really cares about that. It's been a day of chaos. I have been in a state of "jet-lag" today! Under normal circumstances a person who has traveled a great distance would be feeling this, however, someone who has been in the state of TN since May should NOT. J and I worked on returning un-used merch from the commercial shoot and documenting all the receipts. Jealous? I know. :) That took up most of my day, until I realized it was 4pm and it felt like 1. Crazy how that happens.

Tonight I passed 3 car accidents on my way home from Nashville. It's been 2 years since both of my accidents, yet whenever I see people in that situation my hands get cold, my stomach becomes knotted and it takes me back. Not my favorite thing to remember. I decided I needed something to calm my nerves so Jenny (my Jeep Grand Cherokee) found her way to dtf 5 points and I got a venti iced green tea. For about an hour tonight, Starbucks was quiet. Not only quiet, it was quaint... cozy... just like I remember it from when I was in high school. It was a nice change from all of the 12 year olds and old, stuffy men talking about different ways to incorporate strength in to their golf swing. OR better yet, the old women who talk about the barista that didn't make their coffee fast enough, and OMG they used 1% milk instead of non-fat!

Ok, thats exaggeration... well, maybe a little bit of truth.

My head has been out of the game lately, not something that occurs very often. Handing new situations when it comes to my personal life is never an easy thing. I think the Lord is trying to tell me something because he keeps putting me in situations where I tend to look like a really insane loser. To be honest, it was a misunderstanding to begin with, but now that I cleared it up, it still exists, but not as a misunderstanding. Are you completely confused now? Well, don't feel bad, so is that person. I cleared it up, but I haven't exactly found out how to un-confuse them? Or if it's even necessary? This is what life is like as an over-analytical thinker.. I think I'll just drop it, and let things work out on their own. At the end of the day thats how it's going to be anyway, so I'll just save myself the trouble.

Well, thats about all I've got for today. Tomorrow will be a great day! Goodnight all! lovelovelove.

La