I didn't know it at 15, and I still don't know it at 22

I love unexpected surprises. Today I stumbled upon 2. 2 people, specifically 2 men, I have never laid eyes on. I don't know how the conversation got started, but by the end I knew for sure it was meant to happen.

Over the past few weeks I have been in a crazy, undefined rut of life. I am a planner... an organized, over analytical, down-to-the-last-detail, PLANNER. Lately, I have been getting a HUGE dose of reality in realizing that there are VERY few things I have control over. It's taken me this entire summer to see that everything I've been able to control in the past wasn't that big of a deal. Honestly, I didn't even stumble upon this until today. This is how the story goes.

For all intents and purposes, I will refer to them as Jack and Joe. Jack was an older man, 60-70.. retired film producer... Joe early 40's, song writer with a daughter that just graduated HS. I can't even begin to explain the ironic similarities between the 3 of us. Joe's daughter is very interested in the areas of which I am studying, and she has the same goals and ambitions I had when I was 18. Jack shot his first film at my first college. Our conversation went down many paths, but primarily focused on present/future plans. I have really been struggling with my plans lately. I've come to find over the past year that what I thought I wanted, isn't what I really want at all. It's really hard to comprehend the idea that I loved something so much, and I was so passionate about it, and in the end it wasn't what I had expected at all. I'm not disappointed, just unsure of where to go from here. Both of these people helped me realize through their stories and experiences, that it's okay not to know what you want. I'm only 22, and things have a way of working themselves out. My roommate Nicole also had some great input. She loves not knowing where she's going to be. She knows God will handle it, and in the end everything will be fine. I know that, I do, but there's still something in me that feels like it needs answers asap. I think this is just another life lesson. I think I need to step back, take a deep breath, and let go. I need to let go and be 22. I need to enjoy my life right now, not worry about things or people I can't change. Thats my goal for this week, to stop taking things so seriously and just go with the flow. Can I handle it? I hope so.

lovelovelove. until next time.

La