Now, on to the fun stuff :). I'm not so sure what's gotten in to me lately... I've never been one to go out much, I hardly ever drink and I have never had a shot.. until last weekend. I do believe this is the only time in my life I've ever acted like an actual 22 year old college student. And let me just admit it upfront, I didn't hate it. I mean, I definitely don't intend on making these activities a regular part of my life.. it's too expensive and I won't take on the title of a "partier." Over my dead body. I've come up with 2 conclusions on why this sudden urge of "outgoingness" (for all intents and purposes) has come over me the past 2 weeks.

1. I'm completely and utterly insane.

2. I've been so stressed and worried about the future and what I wanna do, that I got tired of worrying and decided to work out my stress in another way.

I'm going to go with option #2. I feel like everyone has a time in their life when they just have to let loose.. I guess I've reached mine. When you focus your entire life on being perfect, living in fear that you're going to let someone down.. it's absolutely exhausting. It's amazing what you don't know about yourself... and hearing how other people perceive you can give you a whole new outlook on things... my mentor was the first person to clue me in on myself. I always thought it was a joke when people said I was a 40 year old stuck in a 22 year olds body.. but then I realized I was missing out on my life. Trying to consistently be something, hold an image and never ever leave the box because you're afraid to try new things or afraid of being caught... it was hindering me from any and every type of fun. I needed to breakout and realize that I can have fun and enjoy my life without going overboard. Right or wrong I don't regret anything I've done over the past few weeks. It was harmless fun.. I didn't hurt anyone or myself and I did absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

This brings me to my next point. Those of you who know me well know that my BIGGEST pet peeve is people that do things and then try to cover them up by pretending like it didn't happen. I hate this. If you're going to do something, whatever it may be, then do it, but own up to it. Don't pretend like you're this perfect person that doesn't make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone sins, it's the way of life. But when you try to sell people the idea that "you're this and you're that and you don't do this or that" it makes other people feel bad. I'm not saying if you're against drinking, do it to follow the crowd. I'm just saying don't "nonchalantly" drop comments to someone else that "you've NEVER done that because it's not Christianly" I MEEEEEEEAN. COME ON. That does nothing but cause a riot and upset the other person. "Holier than thou" acts are not respectable. I've always been the kind of person that respects people for who they are. Who they REALLY are. Those who go through horrible times, whether it be partying or family situations or whatever.. but they own it, they look back on those issues and say you know what, this sucks and I was a terrible person back then, but here I am now. I've risen above this and it's brought me to this level. Admiration. Complete and utter admiration.THAT is Christianity.. learning from each other. Helping one another become better everyday. Everyone has a story.. it's like when you read a 5 year old a story book.. you don't skip over the beginning to get to the happy ending. You read the drama, and the incident that happens and it builds to form a plot and a decision has to be made... THEN after all of that... they live happily ever after. That's how I feel about human lives. You can't block out things that happened in the past and pretend they never happened. That's when it gets confusing and you lose yourself and you try to change the person you are rather than growing in to the person you always have been. I see so many people do this and it makes me so sad. Especially friends. I just want people to be real with me.. I can handle it, I don't judge and I'll never think you're bad because of decisions YOU'VE made in YOUR life. Notice the "you" pattern? Sorry for the sudden urge of ventation, it's just been on my mind lately and I hate the feeling of judgement and I definitely don't want anyone to think I'm passing it on them. And those that do pass judgement, rethink things.

Everyone has a story. I wanna hear yours. Trust me....... I love stories and secrets. They're always safe with me.

As Always, ♥♥♥